I wake up every morning
Some days I feel like that's were it stops.
Although I often just go through the motions
I never take for granted one single moment
Please don't get the wrong notion
That there is no time for hugs and kisses through the day
There are many that all we do is play
But either way,
My children have me, and I do my best,
When their daddy is away
So he can rest
But I go through the motions because that's what it takes
Changing diapers, picking up toys, fixing meals
Always a baby on my hip and a toddler at my heels
Baskets full of laundry, dishes piled high
I finally take a moment to let out a sigh
Regroup. Organize. Make a list in my head
Of all the things that must be done before I go to bed
Wash the linens and pay the bills
Sweep the floors, dust the shelves
Keeping busy leaves me no time to think
I remember the dishes beside the sink
Back and forth all day
Between the moments I find time to pray
It's nap time here
And bed time there
I call you once but it doesn't go through
I call again hoping, praying I'll get to talk to you
I hear your voice, soft and low,
You don't want to wake the others so out you go
You pull on your boots and walk outside
In a land I've never seen, where you serve with pride.
You say your day was boring
Of this I am grateful
But you're so tired
I think you'll start snoring
We talk of our day and cute things the baby did
"Another thing I've missed" is what you said
I sigh and tell you, "We understand"
But you scoff and I know you feel less of a man
For missing out on all they do
While we are here waiting for you
Day out and day in
You miss the cries and the grins
But don't drop your chin
We'll always be here
For as long as you're gone
I'll do what needs done
We say "good night' so you can sleep
I sit in the chair and just want to weep
But instead I get up and find something to do
I have to move on when I'm missing you
Nap time is over, school is out
Big brother comes in and drops his backpack
Time for homework and a little snack
Maybe some Xbox or just time to kick back
It's time for supper
Your seat is not taken
One more moment when
My stare is vacant
But then,
I look at our beautiful children and know
How blessed we are to watch them grow
Happy and healthy, amazing and smart
They are all off to a wonderful start
The evening passes
They're all tucked in bed
This is the time
That I most dread
I put on sweats and your old t shirt
My favorite is one from your old unit
I try to remember the smell of the dust and the dirt
When I would wash your uniforms and your ACU shirts
I never thought I'd miss that stench
The one I complained of often
But now I wish for that safe and familiar scent
When you're home, I promise, my disdain will soften
I try to fall asleep quickly
So there's no time to shed tears
But the nights sleep eludes me
They take over swiftly
I cry for me, for us,
I miss you so much
Our children
Oh what they must think of this
Do they comprehend why Daddy is away?
Do they know you wish you could stay?
When you come back home will they fear each time you walk out the door
That you won't come back for 12 months or more?
I want you home
So when I say…Anything
You can turn my way and throw me a glance
With those consuming eyes and cupid's lips
I used to tell you I missed you when you came home from work
Eighteen hours has nothing on the past 7 months
The days drag on, not moving fast enough
I often wonder if I'll make it one more
I think I'll scream if you don't walk through the door
Your arms around me,
My head on your chest,
When you're home, like this
I'll finally rest
When you can hold our me and our children
Close to your heart
And it will feel like
We were never apart
Audrey A. Graham
Army Wife and Mother
January 22, 2009
